It's easier for you to walk away, then it is for you to reach out to me.
It's easier for you to look away, than it is for you to see the depth of my despair.

It's easier for you to look through me, than it is for you to see "me."

It's easier for you to distance yourself, than it is for you to really care.

It's easier for you to hear, than it is for you to listen.

It's easier for you to judge, than it is for you to understand.

It's easier for you to label, than it is to get acquainted.

It's easier for you to bask in your joy, than it is for you to feel my pain.

It's easier for you to bewilder at my mysteries, than it is for you to probe deeply

into the depths of my soul.

 

It's easier for me to look away, than it is to let you see the feelings betrayed through my eyes.

It's easier for me to cry, than it is for me to talk.

It's easier for me to walk alone, than it is to risk rejection.

It's easier for me to push you away, than it is for me to be held.

It's easier for me to distance myself, than it is to trust that you won't hurt me.

 

It's hard for me to smile when I am hurting.

It's hard for me to talk when you won't understand.

It's hard for me to reach out when I need help the most.

 

If only you'd really look at me and see who I am.

If only you cared enough to reach out then I push you away.

If only you'd hold me, without asking why.

If only  you'd acknowledge the validity of my feelings.

 

But it's the easy roads that are most often taken.

And so, I hurt alone.

 

At the root of insanity

Is having too much time on your hands--

Too much time to think--

Too much time to remember past hurts

And to wish things could be different.

 

Too much time spent alone,

Staring at these four walls

To remember past hurts

And to wish things were different.

 

Got to rid myself of this insanity.

I'll busy myself with a flurry of activities

And seek the companionship of others.

They'll tell me time heals all wounds.

 

But for now I'll still cry--

When I have too much time to think

And remember past hurts,

Wishing things are different.

1
2
3
4
5
6
Lance Armstrong
le Tour de France
Winner!

(who's the big dork that actually watches that race!!)
ME!

Napoleon Dynamite has been moved to tonight. That cartoon of John does resemble Napoleon in the creepiest, kindest kind of way.

How many more days: 32?

Kyla's birthday party was much fun. Too bad we couldn't have done more. Money and it's ways of ruining fun. But we found alternatives that turned out to be just as much fun. UpWord!

Dude, I got a Dell! Ha! and now I finally get to use my own computer again. No more going over to Krista's house to use her computer. It is so pretty too, if a computer can actually be pretty. Hm. So yes, now I get to talk about my nonsense again.

HAPPY 3rd BIRTHDAY to my puppy!! He didn't have a party, but he was still happy with us. It's not like he can show any emotion towards it anyway. Oh well. There is always next year.
 
Wow. I can't say that for much longer, since we will all be going our seperate ways a year from now. It's sad, but if I get to go to Iowa State, I will be happy. You know, with Troy and Justin around, I can't go wrong! And Justin is majoring in Animal Science, the same thing I want to major in, so it all works out! Fun times ahead.
 
I hope that everyone is having a great summer, and we will be able to do something fun in the near future!

Napoleon Dynamite Saturday, hopefully!

Been awhile, but I am back. I haven't had a computer, and well, still don't, but I stole someone's for awhile.

Nothing happening in my life that is worth talking about, but just wanted to write something so you all know that I am still living! :) Most of you know this, but just in case!

If you are not doing anything on the 14th, why not join me and some other people at Six Flags. If you are interested, just leave a comment, email me, or call me. Hope you can come.

Also, we are looking for people to join us next week in our adventures in downtown Chicago and Brookfield Zoo. Please let know, again, if you are interested!! Thanks.

That'll be:

Cubs: 1

Sox: 0

Cubs vs Soxs series at Wrigley starts today!

I wonder who's gonna win this time!?

Any bets?

:D